Clarity comes with time.

Today, I decided to get in some writing time, since my work schedule did not permit it for the past few weeks. It is inevitable in tenure track positions that you will work longer hours and on weekends. As a clueless college student, I did not understand this. Early in my career, I worked hard and checked email on weekends, but I still did not get it until May 2012, when I started supporting an online-only program and dabbled in doing my own research for the first time. Pre-July 2016, when I entered the tenure-track world, people thought I had a tenure-track position. I was doing research and presenting at conferences. I spotted gaps in programs and sought ways to fill them. I taught (not particularly well) continuing education courses and recognized that my true strength lies in background and supportive roles. Or, if I am asked to teach, the trick is to find ways to engage the audience and to make sure they leave with new knowledge. On August 10th, sixty fourth day health professional students will be in a room with me for four hours. It will be an interesting day and I am hoping that I can make an impact on them. Until September-October of 2016,I still kind of did not get the tenure process. I was looking for something to research and, more importantly, was adjusting to my new position. The full force of tenure hit in October of 2016. I needed to get going on research. I submitted an abstract and continued looking for ideas. In January, after a short respite during the holidays, I got approval to do a study. In April, I was asked to write an article based upon an abstract I had submitted in October 2016. That abstract led to a pilot study in March-April 2017 and a study in June 2017. I am in the process of putting the article together with an end of August deadline. Growing up, I kept hearing the statement, "The more I learn the less I know." My father, you see, is a social-behavioral ecologist and I grew up assisting with his research and attending his presentations. He is an incredible at both. He has literally taught me everything I know and he eventually got tenure, although his path was not one he or anyone else would want to repeat. Is it intimidating to be the daughter of a published and world renowned researcher? Yes-I do not, however, use my Dad's career or accomplishments as a stepping stone for my career. Instead, I continue to assist him, when he cannot find the articles and books he needs (hello, librarian or information professional here!) and he has, from the outset, been the best reviewer of my papers, presentations, and articles. I may frustrate him at times, but he keeps on providing ideas and suggestions. So thanks, Dad - I know we continue to be at odds at various times, since I prefer running to soccer, tennis, or most other group sports, but I still love you and I will continue watching and applauding your professional and athletic accomplishments. I also will not make you run with me ever again, unless you choose to lace-up your shoes and join me. Running is my way to keep sane, work through research and work issues, and...I am at my best, when I can run, race, and just keep on moving. Tenure is the ultimate marathon with the codifier that not everyone will get it. So I am going to write on weekends, as needed, stay late, as needed, and continue to be the best supporter for the community I can and I will find a way to accomplish and to be the best tenure candidate I can during the non-work hours. One can only do so much and that, folks, is the last I plan to say or to write about it. Happy Saturday!

Yep, it was tough. Infected bug bites stink.

The week started off ok. I thought, after tough days in the previous week, that I had a handle on this last week pre-arrival of the students. Tuesday night, I had the best speed workout in a year. It was amazing. I surpassed all my set paces and completed even the "optional" portion. I also had a partner/buddy for the first time and it was really cool! My coach was shocked but in a good way and then I decided to do the Indianapolis Monumental Half Marathon. On Wednesday, starting at about 10 am, the perfect storm hit. An issue, which I had gotten hints about but decided not to freak about handling since I could not do anything, blew up into a giant mess. I spent most of Wednesday and Thursday fixing it. A year ago, this experience would have kicked me back a few steps. This time - granted - it was really tough and, yeah, I have had some emotional and tough moments. I did not, however, let it stop me from doing my best to fix it. I am actively searching for ways to prevent this mess from occurring in the future. It also made me realize how - in the scheme of things - my first priority will always be supporting my colleagues, faculty, staff, and students. These folks make me want to come into the office each day. Tenure is something I will strive to get, but my focus is not on it. Then - sometime between Tuesday night and midday Wednesday, I got a giant bite. It looked unusual, which was my first hint, that perhaps something was off about it. I tried wearing a long sleeve shirt in hopes of minimizing the itch factor, but it only made things worse. Finally, after trying Benadryl spray and my normal allergy medicine; I went into Urgent on the advice of my doctor. I had taken pictures Thursday night and had planned to into the doctor, if things looked the same or worse this morning. Things had improved, slightly, but the redness and "extra heat" were not a good sign. So - I am now on an antibiotic for 10 days and I hoping it fixes the situation. I react to all medications and I am drinking Kombucha to be safe, while continuing getting probiotics in other ways. I am proud that I made the decision to see the doctor, since I usually must be dragged kicking and screaming (ok - I get prodded) into going. If I learned anything else this week, it is to learn what I can control and to work within reasonable limits to fix or to influence areas that need work, but for which I am unable to be the "only" solution. Happy Friday!

What a 9 days...OOF - Recap, here we go

Hey All, The last nine days have been full of stress, fun, running, and moving towards a painted living room! I had visitors, which was cool, and then I completed my first six mile run in awhile and it felt surprisingly good. I remembered that once I hit six miles that I need to eat beforehand. I tried 3 pieces of bread, 8 oz (or more) of water, and then off I went. I was so thrilled to feel pretty doggone good and that was a huge improvement over training in previous months and years. So - not to take chances - I switched to a bagel, ended up delaying a bit due to weather, and then completed 6 miles again and felt comparable or a bit better than my long run. Also - I did a speed workout with a group last Tuesday, who I call the gazelles, and it went quite well. Motivation - a few days - was a struggle, but I got out and did it. The heat was just awful last week and Saturday, when it was not raining. I am glad it has cooled off a bit and this means Fall will indeed be coming soon! Fall and Winter are my favorite times of the year. Ok - so I could pass on the ice, but snow never gets old. On top of all this, I have also selected a paint color and I am in the process of painting my living room. A post - once it is more complete and finished looking - will be coming. In a few weeks, my furniture, ordered in early June, will be delivered and this is my motivation for getting it painted. I think that I have before/after photos and I am glad that I took the time choosing my color, after selecting furniture. The next two weeks are going to be hectic. I will try to post before 9 days pass again, but Instagram is probably more likely to be current for a bit. Happy Monday!

Where did this week go? Finding Motivation!

Hey All,

My apologies - I was really (for a whole two weeks) doing well at posting at least once a week.  Some challenging, thought provoking, and good things happened this week.  It was a also a week filled with moments, where crying (yep, did that once) and a sense of futility enveloped me.  Let's rewind to Monday.

I had some great discussions last weekend and recognized that dear old tenure was taking over my life.  In fact, while running, it reminded me of the Planet Hoth scene from Star Wars.  Side note - I really loved Star Wars a great deal, but then Disney bought it.  Sorry - Star Wars, I will only be a fan of your pre-Disney movies.  At any rate, back to tenure and the way it was taking over my life.  I am sorry, I can plan a trip for x years, until I have a decision.  Or, I really need to not take any vacation time, until I have a handle on this.  STOP - that's right, my colleague shared this article and suddenly - including the discussions last week - I got a clue.  I was letting this big ambiguous, politically filled, frustrating, and seemlingly endless process hamper my creativity, love of learning, and sadly my approach to handling my position.  I have not completely rewired my thinking, but I am working on it.  My goal, of course, will be to get it, but I want to focus on doing things I like and then applying them towards tenure.  This past year (first year in my new position) has not been easy and I am hoping this next year will prove to be a bit less challenging.  I got the first year review done and I have incorporated new ways of tracking things, which I hope will make the upcoming reviews less tiresome and stressful.  Meanwhile, I am taking a whole 9 days (Sept 7-16th) off and I have no regrets.  Yes, I will check email enroute and probably during the work week, because I owe that to the people I work with and to those I support.  Besides that, I will be relaxing and having fun for the first time in longer than I care to admit.

Motivation is a tricky thing.  I love to learn, but (see previous paragraph) I am not always approaching it as I should.  When it comes to running, I usually can get out the door and get the prescribed workout done.  Nick Symmonds, two time Olympian in the 800 meter (half mile), spoke to the challenges of running and being an entrepreneur in this Vlog.  It is worth watching and he is a fun, energetic, and forward thinking fellow.  He will be racing the Honolulu Marathon in December.

So on Thursday, I could barely get out the door (yep, it was hot and I was tired).  Also - after rowing for 50 minutes on Wednesday night, I could feel some of my muscles complaining and the moderate pace - well - yeah, that did not go as I hoped.  I finished the distance and then I just needed to do some strides (short sprints ~50 meters or equivalent time as prescribed where you work up to 90% effort over a short distance).  I had no motivation.  So - I checked my mail.  Closed the garage door.  The motivation was still missing.

Inspiration hit!  It was hot and I usually wear a hat while running, because I am fair skinned and sunglasses always fall off my nose and become a nuisance.  This led to my forward brim vs. backward brim debate.  By changing the hat and having the brim face backwards, I immediately felt cooler and it was just enough to get me moving to do the strides.  Little things - folks - can make more of a difference than one might suspect.

So - wherever you are - take a moment, when filled with doubt, frustration, despair, anger, or just plain annoyance - and try to take a large view on the situation.  Can I accomplish this today?  What have I done today that assists me in accomplishing this goal?  If this process is truly filled with pitfalls out-of-my control (hello tenure, weather on race day, etc), why should I spend my energy on something that I cannot influence?  Then, find someone or something, who will stick with the facts, and ask them to provide input.  If you are lacking motivation, switch up something (ie change the way your hat is facing, try something new (different route, wear earphones), or do what works for you), then go for it.  Motivation is fickle thing and getting out the door is (95% of the time) the toughest part.

I am sharing my brim forward/backwards photo below!  I truly did not expect it to work, but it did!

Happy Saturday :)

Are you a hat forward or backward type of runner? Normally, I am all about forward. I was hot, needed to do strides, and even after waiting a few minutes lacked motivation. So - I flipped the hat backwards. Presto Chango - I got the strides done. Motivation does not always come easily, but distracting myself just a bit brought it back in full force. Happy Thursday!

A post shared by Runningwithallergies (@runningwithallergies) on Jul 13, 2017 at 5:13pm PDT

Rowing is the best!

Happy Friday of Strange Week!

Monday felt as though it was Friday.  Wednesday reminded me of Monday.  Thursday felt like Tuesday and today, well, it definitely felt Fridayish at the end.  I was tired and ready to not think.

Speaking of thinking, I have a tendency to work out kinks in a plan or project, when I am running.  Lately, I have been trying to find a way to enjoy cross-training.  Spin classes are good, but I am not a huge fan of them.  On Wednesday, since I was feeling the speed workout from Tuesday, I decided to be brave and try the rowing machine.  I love it!  After 20 minutes, I decided to stop for my first attempt.

Tonight, I did 40 minutes and I could tell I am getting stronger.  I also could feel - in my hands - that I had done it on Wednesday.  Right now, I will continue with my membership at the gym and I hope that one of the classes will begin to hold some appeal.  If not, I might just decide to cancel membership and invest in a home rowing machine.  At one point, I had a home armless elliptical, but the rowing machine is so much better.

Tomorrow is my long run.  At this stage of fitness, I am enjoying watching how quickly my times improve.  My PB (PR) will come and I will keep working on improving and enjoying myself until then.

Happy Weekend!

Stripey Scarf - Completed on March 19th, 2017

Done!! I am quite pleased with it, though, and now to wear it before the weather gets warm again. Although I am on ravelry, I have gotten bad about updating my queue.

A post shared by Runningwithallergies (@runningwithallergies) on Mar 19, 2017 at 1:22pm PDT

This scarf, which I started in April 2015, is finally done!   I ended up modifying the pattern and then I found additional yarn.  I could keep providing additional reasons for why it took forever to finish, but I will cease.

It is not my favorite pattern, but I am glad it can now be worn.

Happy Crafting!

Race Recap - July 2nd - The Sparkler 5k

My post-5k breakfast of yoghurt and raspberries! My fitness and times are improving. Now - time to recover and enjoy the beautiful weather! My apologies to the non-raspberry fans. I could not resist getting these yesterday!

A post shared by Runningwithallergies (@runningwithallergies) on Jul 2, 2017 at 8:37am PDT

Hey All!

I completed the Sparkler 5k on Sunday, July 2nd, and finished 4th in my age group and beat my March time.  I finished in 31:08.8.  This is roughly 40 seconds or so faster than my previous 5k and I went in with less training but a better warm up and pre-race prep.

So - let's take it back to Tuesday night, when I heard about it and discussed goals with my coach.  I pushed hard and thought, hmm, maybe I can handle a race.  I did not commit.

Wendesday - I took a Spin class at the YMCA and again pushed myself as best I could.  At the end, I was tired, covered in sweat, but I was smiling.  I came home and registered for the Sparkler 5k.

Training on Thursday - Saturday went well and I took it nice and easy all day Saturday.  Around 7-8 pm on Saturday, I was battling a headache and my stomach was not in the best of shape.  I decided to just push through, hydrate, and see how things felt on Sunday.  The firecrackers late into Saturday night did not help and my "can't sleep the night before a race" hit.

Goals for the race (A-C):

A - Run a sub 31 minute 5k
B - Run a 31:30 minute 5k
C - Beat March Time (~31:50)

Sunday:

The headache was mostly gone, but I still did not feel great.  I ate a Picky Bar, had quite a bit of water, and prepared my post race tart cherry juice bottle and filled a water bottle.  I got to the race and completed a 5-8 minute warm-up with a bit of a stride.  I finally felt decent.  I knew A was out-of-the question, but I figured C was doable.  B would be a stretch, but why not give it a try and follow the guidelines of making each mile a bit faster.

Mile 1 ~10:08 (I had my garmin on, but I did not look at it until I finished the race.) - a fellow announced the mile spilt and I think the 3/4 mile split.  I knew at the 3/4 split my time was pretty good, but I also was prepared to slow a bit, if I was sub 10 at mile 1.

Mile 2 ~10:07 - I have no clue when I passed it, but definitely began pushing a bit this mile.

Mile 3 ~10:07 - I started booking it at turn-around and hit a full-out sprint when I saw the mile 3 sign.

~0.1 Mile - I think I finished this in under a minute or close to it.

Takeaways:

• My stomach cooperated (yay) and I got my cool down complete, before handling the upset stomach.
• I should have been packing a water bottle all day on Saturday and I will not make that mistake on future weekends or evenings.  Thankfully - the day was pretty cool or I would have struggled.
• 5ks are still not my favorite distance, but going in trained makes them bearable.  I am starting to think of them as "tempo runs" instead of races.
• Distracting yourself, especially when the weather is tough, makes a huge difference.  I began counting - in my head - the number of people I passed and compared it to the numbers of those who passed me.  If you count stroller runners as a single person, then I passed more people than those who passed me.
• Only one person passed me between miles 1-2.  I hoped to not have anyone pass me, but I will take it!

Happy Monday!  I did a 2.19 mi run and myrtl today, which helped workout the crankiness from yesterday's run.

Enjoy July 4th!

P.S.  My coach found this, because, being me, I forgot to look!