Hope, Hopeless, Fierce, and Deadend

Lately and then a year ago for sure, the following image kept popping into my head:

What should I do?  Where should I go?  Why were things I thought would work consistently going pear shaped?  This quickly left me feeling hopeless and discouraged.  Thankfully - I battled back those dark thoughts, which I encountered the summer before high school started and continue to battle to this day, and persevered.  Most recently, the following image comes to mind, particularly when a family member gets harmed or mistreated.  Apparently, I become quite fierce:

Since I do not think of myself in that way, it is a shocker.

Nearly three years ago, I started being more open with family and friends about my feelings and thoughts.  It is not easy, but at least they know what is happening with me.  It - in some small way - helps me find hope, particularly when I talk through those dark emotions.  So If you are feeling without hope or if you are battling dark thoughts, please get help.  Each of us is on this planet for a reason and we need each other to make positive change.

I will get off my soapbox, now, and resume my debate over which crop or tree to plant.  They, at least, bring some sense of satisfaction and require only a bit of thought.  Is it a perfect solution?  No - but the animals and plants in Farmville 2 are so cute!

Happy Wednesday

Hello Fresh, Milestone, and a quick glance at 12 months ago

For the price, Hello Fresh does provide an interesting assortment of ingredients and it is convenient. When I was thinking of doing it, though, I had not expected the amount of work to be equal or more than to making my own recipe after grocery shopping.  Also - Some of the ingredients were not in the best of shape.  Was this due to a delivery mishap?  Or are they like this?  Again - I am not sure, but I decided it was not for me, especially since I can get the recipes for free - how fun!

Twelve months ago - about - I started this blog, having learned that I have severe allergies.  Nope - 2015-2016 has not been the best year, but I am thankful to be feeling better than I was a year ago.  Saturday - I will do my first "race" in over a year.  I am just planning to cross the finish line and be pleased with having run the whole thing.  Walking might be faster, but this is one step closer to making my goal of returning to being healthy and living an active lifestyle.

300 miles - yay - yes, a lot of those were walking with some elliptical and running.  I am happy to have come this far and I will keep enjoying the process.

Happy Monday!

Perspective - Courtesy of Two Tornado Funnels and Heavy Rain and Thankful Thursday

The thing about relocating, starting something new, tying up lose ends, and getting familiar with a new place is insecurity reigns.  If you let it along with a not perfect experience, it can rule your life.  Sadly, I could not shake off a tough week and until last night, that insecurity and feeling of lost and not being good was prevalent.

So what did it take to finally shake it?  The key, so to speak, for me were tornado warnings and being in a building knowing no one and hoping to be alive.  It is the most frightening thing that has happened to me in years and I hope not to repeat it.

As I drove back to my place, a feeling of calm and cool headed thought appeared.  Suddenly, earlier news combined with this shocking event helped me prioritize what I could not previously.  It also made me so thankful to have the chance to regain this perspective.

While this might not last forever, it shook me and I am hoping to prevent the introspection - always an issue with me that is sometimes good - from lasting longer than it should.  Bad days, experience, meetings, happen.  Learn from it and prepare, if it is likely to happen frequently, as best you can, but once it is done.  Move forward and reward yourself for getting through it!

Happy Thankful Thursday, All!

Soon...feeling like myself will happen..right?

Hi All,

Yep, if this is what is appearing on your face, I believe it.  This is Monday, but you can all applaud that for the first time in months I am blogging.  Later this week - I will write about my experiences with, "Hello Fresh," but back to the agneda for today.

Exhaustion is still the word to describe me and the following is oh so tempting on the benches near my office:

I will have company this weekend and perhaps my energy will make an appearance?  I am still doing more walking than running, but my goal is to run one day this week.  I think that I can make it?  The 5k on September 3rd will definitely be a slow jog and walking might happen, but I hope to prevail with the slow jog.

Tying up lose ends is taking far longer than I ever anticipated or imagined.  In face, it might be time to do a car check-up before I get the official plates.  I remind myself daily that getting a new, energy efficient, quiet car is worth it.  Right?  It took me a good three weeks to find way so that I could drive in and out of my reserved space without panicking.  I almost have it down perfectly, now!

Beyond the normal adjustments, life continues.  I will be thrilled when the need to nap during the work day disappears.

Happy Monday, All!

And...I am back!

My goal for the past five days was to survive, but little did I anticipate the challenges of the week, when I naively set that goal.  Survive it I did and today I did a short run.

Yes, I dreamed of the following - particularly during the last 0.24 miles:

Two weeks from today I am supposed to run a 5k.  Note - I am running not racing it, but I will still happily wear my Oiselle gear.  After all, one of the folks (Dr. Lesko to the rescuse!) noted, "Getting to the starting line is a huge accomplishment."

I may not be where I want fitness wise, but I am back on track to reaching that point.  Don't forget to watch the 800 meter final tonight at 8 pmish Eastern (7 pm Central, 6 pm Mountain, 5 pm Pacific) as Kate Grace seeks to medal.  Regardless of the outcome, her journey has been inspirational and knowing my participation in the Oiselle Volee supports her and other up-and-coming-athletes brings a smile to my face!

Until Monday - then - have a happy Weekend!

Training: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Not all training is fun and sometimes it is downright ugly.  Or the humorous aspects will keep your mind engaged, but the overall content lacks applicability.  After attending training for the past 1.5 days, I would not say ugly describes it, but dull and uninteresting for 95% of the time definitely do.

Similarly so, committees and rules can fall into this category.  Why then do many businesses, athletes, and people thrive on the training and committee routine?  It works.

To increase flexibility, many people stretch.  Some find stretching not to be useful, but the following - when I take time to do it - always helps me feel better.

This image is of a professional and I am not in that league, of course, but we each have ways of coping in not fun situations (ugly training sessions, seemingly pointless meetings) and, if we strive to make the most of it, we end up building strength and character not unlike the figure below.

Find your strength and focus on ways to improve your weak areas.  It never hurts to explore!

Happy Wednesday.

Dreams become real.

Four years ago, I learned of a career change my sibling decided to make.  At the time, I considered the course of action and had reservations.  On Sunday, this my sibling's dream - after four years of frustration, hard work, and my reservations coming true - became real and I could not be prouder.

In some ways, participating in the Olympics are the realization of a career or lifetime of dreams.  With the current scandals, name calling, unsportsmanlike conduct, and robbery; my enthusiasm for following it beyond You Tube clips and Twitter feeds is not high.  I am thrilled that 3 US women marathoners finished in the top 10!  A new US record was set in the 10,000 meter (10k), and today a US woman won a bronze medal in the Steeplechase.

What do these have in common you might ask?  Dreams - dreams becoming reality are the connecting point.  Not all of us can make the Olympics or have a dream job or career.  What we can do, however, is to always dream and use it as motivation to accomplish things we might not otherwise pursue.

Think about the dream trip, career, goal, or something unreachable and try taking a step to make it reality.  Yes, I am a dreamer, but it's that motivating factor, which keeps me going in times that are tough or not as I expected.

Happy Dreaming!

Getting back to it - slowly but surely!

Yesterday evening, I did a bit of a run to catch up with some people and then I walked for a total of 5 miles.  Today, my feet are not happy, since I did not wear running shoes nor did I stretch.  Eek - it was fun and getting back into it is always worth it.  Even if you look like this after the exercise is done.

Now I know of new place to exercise, which is close by, and they have places to change.  Is that a win-win or what?  Meanwhile, Saturday I am jetting off for some time with family.  My routine of daily exercise includes getting the mail and frequent trips to the library.  I would love to say that running will get added next week, but it might not happen until the following week.

The temperatures are hot.  Eventually, it will return to what I think of as normal temperatures.  On the 3rd of September, I will end up doing the 5k just due to lack of training and I am not deferring Richmond.  I would love to say I can do it, but it would not be smart to even commit for a half marathon at this stage.

Happy Wednesday!

Margaret